Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
too bad you live with your parents still
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
