but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
