I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there's paper in my vomit.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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