when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
