two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I am available for nakedness
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
