based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
