And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
