I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
