do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize