as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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