She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
