glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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