this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
