We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
