I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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