I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
