The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
