We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
