we're blogging at a bar
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
