In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
