Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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