i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
