I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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