party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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