dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
