Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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