so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
