i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
