Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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