And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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