Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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