p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
