Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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