I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
