im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize