Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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