but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
