i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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