is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
