And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize