I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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