There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
