doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
