He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize