Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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