i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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