Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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