best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
