Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
