do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize