I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
