i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
