i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
