I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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