Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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