it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize