Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
