Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
