i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I believe in your delicious
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