Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Fuck appropriateness.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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