He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
