one two three fourrrrnication!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
