so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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