Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
