the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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