I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
