I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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