DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
