Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
