And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
