Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize