I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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