I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
