eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
