Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
