I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
