Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
